


the compass that guides us

by oh-how-charming (twofourteen)



Series: the best thing in the world (except for cough drops) [7]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Human, Always Female Stiles Stilinski, Female Stiles Stilinski, No one seems to mind, Stiles has a problem with clothes, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24435184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twofourteen/pseuds/oh-how-charming
Summary: “I need to go wash various body fluids off me.” Eddie snorted a laugh. “And then I will be back to make a wonderful first impression. I’ll even, hopefully, be wearing pants.”
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: the best thing in the world (except for cough drops) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1738996
Comments: 6
Kudos: 142





	the compass that guides us

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a whole lot of Derek Hale deserves nice things in the shape of a gigantic family that loves him and his naked girlfriend to pieces. 
> 
> I literally cannot stop writing this universe and I don't know why. Twenty thousand fucking words?! Seriously. What?
> 
> No beta, no plot, just scenes.
> 
> Title from - “Families are the compass that guides us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter.” - Brad Henry

Stiles actually was caught up on everything for the moment, magically. (“Scott, this wasn’t magic. This was me kicking theory’s ass, okay?”) Which meant she was going to be able to go to her daddio’s First Sunday of the Monthly Meat Madness BBQ. Or like, charred meat with coworkers - whatever they called it. She tried to go to a few of them during the football season for several reasons:

1) The only sport that was fun with BBQ was football.  
2) The weather was her favorite this time of year.  
3) She got to see most all of her favorite people - people that her and dad hand clung to for support during the worst time of their life. She feels like she got dozens of aunts and uncles added on to her life during that time.  
4) Derek appeared to enjoy football so he would be there which meant that her casual visits could end in casual conversation over messily eating bbq ribs. Casually. Like casual adults.

There were only a few extra cars when she pulled up to her dad’s house, so as she piled out of her Jeep with a backpack (“Okay, so I am momentarily caught up but that gives me the change to work ahead a little if I have an extra second or two.” “Stiles. You’re going to spend every spare second oggling your dad’s new officer.” “I am no-” “You are going to picture him covered in BBQ sauce and your mission will be to lick him clean.” “ _Erica_ . _Ew_ .”) she grabbed a couple bags of groceries from the back. (“Stiles, why do you bring salad? No one here is going to eat salad.” “If that mother trucker can bring potato salad with raisins, I am bringing a salad with _lettuce_ and _croutons_ like normal people do.”) As she was wrangling the bags to avoid an errant bottle of ranch from slipping out she made it to the front door that was being held open by Derek.

“Oh, uh. Hi! Derek. Thank you.” She slid past him, kicking her shoes off quickly, “How are you? Keeping the streets safe and free of criminal underlords and such?”

“Stiles.” He nodded a little and motioned to grab a few of the bags for her, “I’m’good. Got to arrest an old man for shoplifting yesterday. That cavity search will probably scar me for life.” Stiles giggled, higher pitched than normal and covered her mouth with a muffled ‘jesus Stiles reign it in’ behind her hand. Derek just grinned, “How are _you_? Everything is going well with your classes?”

“You’re so sweet to ask - “ _And what a sweet ass_ “- everything is going really well.” They made it to the kitchen, setting the extra bags down and greetings were doled out to Papa Stilinksi, and the few other men and women that were there. (“Dad. Phillys gave me $20 for pencils and notecards. She is so adorable and thinks I am still 19. Can I legally take this money? Morally?” “Phillys inherited some distant relatives oil tycoon money, just let her give you $20. Buy a crate of cheap vodka or something with it.” “...but I actually need more notecards?)

When Derek was bringing out the various BBQ sauce collection to the table by the grill Stiles may have had to hide her face under the guise of tying her shoes. Even though she wasn’t wearing any. Whatever. She was not thinking pure thoughts while thanking Phillys for the $20. Robbins gave her a massive hug, slipping her another $50. “No! I can’t take this! I am doing alright, I promise!” 

“Take it.”

“No.”

“You need it for late night pizza rolls and fruit salad.”

“I have money! I promise. And I don’t eat _pizza rolls_.”

“I call bullshit on the pizza rolls, darling. Take it or I will go in the basement and dig out the embarrassing childhood photo albums that I know a certain newer member of the force would surely like to see. There are some truly precious camp pictures in there.”

“You are just _evil_ . You are an _evil_ evil man.” She yanked the $50 out of his hands and stuffed it in her pocket. “But also, thank you.” She gave him a quick hug, squeezing a little harder than normal. “ _Evil_.”

Derek and Stiles eventually settled in, slicing up the veggies for the salad (“Dad, I swear to god if you argue with me about greens on the table I will change your WiFi password and laugh for weeks as you try to figure out how to change it back.” “Damn girl.”) making conversation about this, that and the other thing. Derek was washing his hands after dealing with some extra juicy tomatoes and quickly checked his phone as he had heard it buzz a few times.

“Oh man, that’s just adorable.” John had stepped up behind him, and “accidentally” saw what was sent. “Is that Ingrid’s baby? He’s getting big!”

“There a baby? I wanna see!” Stiles abandoned the cucumbers she was cutting up, wiping her hands on her pants and grabbing the phone from Derek. Stiles stared down at the screen and made a squeak that probably was only heard by other women of child bearing age. “Oh. My. _God_ . He is precious. I could eat him up. But, not like… _eat him up_. I am not a cannibal or anything. But ohhh his little toes. Oh my god.”

The picture was of a baby behind held while going down a small slide - both the baby and the slightly larger baby that is technically probably a kid holding the baby looked to be having the time of their life. Stiles reluctantly gave back the phone, hoping for more pictures.

“Who _are_ they?” Stiles grinned, attempting to continue to slice the cucumbers while not slicing off a portion of her finger. 

“Uhh. Those are two of my nephews - Nolan and JJ. We had a big family picnic yesterday -”

“So you’re gonna _need the salad_.” Stiles interrupted him and made glaring eyes with a stuck out tongue at her dad.

Derek chuckled, “Yeah, I will definitely be going light on the food today. My family is huge, and I think everyone brought five coolers full of stuff.”

Stiles bumped her hip against his, “Big family, eh? How many Hales are there?”

Derek grinned, because he knew, just knew, that Stiles was going to probably make weird noises. “I am the second of eight kids -” And there was Stiles choking to death on a slice of cucumber.

“EIGHT?” Cough. Hack. Water. Heavy breathing. Recovered. “Your mom had _EIGHT_ children. Please tell me for the sake of their self confidence that you aren't the only Greek god and they are all beautifully sculpted humans?”

Derek huffed out a laugh, “Yeeaah. Five sisters, two brothers and me. I can’t comment on the hotness of my siblings, for fear of banjo music starting to play.”

“... _jesus_. Eight kids. Wow.”

“Nine nieces and nephews too, another is baking too.”

“That is just precious, oh man. It was just me growing up. I have two cousins on my mom’s side, but I see them … once a decade or something. It must be fun to have such a big family.”

“Loud. It’s loud.”

“I bet.”

Stiles maybe probably stared at him a little longer than needed, picturing him as a jungle gym for 9 tiny Greek God-esque children. As they finished up the prep work, and more people started filtering in, Derek and Stiles stood to the side and Derek swiped through a ridiculously large amount of pictures of his family, pointing out brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews and his _dad_ (“Scott, you don’t even know have the comprehension to understand this right now, because you have not seen the photographic proof but that whole family is like… 15 out of 10s. Even the one that could have been the ugliest is still a 11 out of 10. And that was probably a bad camera angle. His whole family! How is that possible? Maybe they’re aliens.” “Stiles, how high are you right now?” “...11 out of 10? Scott! I thought his GRANDPA WAS HOT.”)

\--

Stiles had vague memories of Derek smoothing the hair back from her face, planting a kiss against her nose and telling her he was going to get stuff for brunch. It could have been five minutes ago, it could have been an hour ago. She was _sleeping_ , and had like sixteen functioning neurons after the previous night’s events. (She didn’t realize she was that flexible, _huh_.) So when there was a knock on the door and rustling bags on the other side, Stiles did the polite girlfriend thing and opened the door.

Pants were optional for post sex brunch okay?

“Hey bro - I brought ov - uh. Hi.”

Stiles blinked, “You’re not my boyfriend.” She looked down at her nudity. “ _You’re not my boyfriend_.” She then hid behind the jacket she grabbed off the hook by the door. “Uh.”

“You’re not my brother.”

“Uh.”

“Uh.”

“Can you close your eyes while I back away and cover my shame and hickies with clothes?”

The bags clunked to the floor and hands went over his eyes, “Eyes closed and covered. I’m Eddie by the way.”

“Yeah, uh. I figured. You also look like a Greek god. What is with your family?” Stiles flailed back into Derek’s bedroom, grabbing the bra that had apparently been discarded in the hallway the previous night and clicked the door shut cutting off the laughter coming from _Derek’s brother_.

 **Stiles** : SOS   
**Stiles** : SOS  
 **Stiles** : SOS  
 **Stiles** : Your brother is beautiful just like you and he has officially seen me naked  
 **Stiles** : Did your parents sacrifice small woodland creatures to guarantee your shared jaw line?  
 **Pookie Bear** : I told you he was going to be coming over, why were you naked?  
 **Pookie Bear** : Also, Cherry Garcia or Chunky Munky?  
 **Stiles** : Was sleeping when you left. Brain over sexed. Can’t with the words.  
 **Stiles** : I need both after this naked fiasco.

Stiles grabbed Derek’s robe and some clothes and quietly emerged from Derek’s bedroom. “Uh. Eddie?”

“In the kitchen.”

Stiles hid most of her body as she looked into the kitchen, “I would like you to just Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind the last few minutes of your life.” Eddie smirked and Stiles was hit with the audacity of this family’s entire face because these fucking Hales. “I need to go wash various body fluids off me.” Eddie snorted a laugh. “And then I will be back to make a wonderful first impression. I’ll even, hopefully, be wearing pants.”

Eddie just saluted, taking a bite of the apple he was holding while scrolling through sports scores on his phone.

Stiles didn’t intentionally take a really long shower, it was just that Derek’s shower had really good water pressure compared to her apartment. And the naked fiasco. She emerged, smelling like Derek’s body wash, drowning a little in his hoodie. She heard two voices as she opened the door to the bathroom. She padded into the kitchen and was met with matching smiles.

“You know _what_.” She pointed between the two brothers who just smiled bigger around laughs.

Derek pulled her close, planting a small kiss against her forehead, “At least this takes the awkwardness out of meeting my family?”

“Unless your family is all a bunch of nudists, I don’t think I want this to be a trend.”

Stiles squeaked as another voice came from behind her, “I don’t know, Esme and Ingrid are pretty into the free spirit stuff.”

“What the fu - are you multiplying?” Stiles shoved her face into Derek’s chest, hiding the blush. Stiles felt the pat against Derek’s back and the bro hug that apparently came from the other Hale brother. She flailed a hand out in a blind hand shake, “I’m Stiles. I don’t wear pants after pleasuring your brother sexually. Nice to meet you.”

All three brothers choked out loud laughs and there was a hand shaking Stiles’. “Nice to meet you Stiles, I’m Jayson.”

\--

Stiles smoothed down her shirt, wondering if she should be wearing a skirt or something fancy. She checked in teeth in the rearview mirror, making sure no errant chunks of food were there even though she had brushed her teeth (three times, and flossed twice). Smelled the armpits of her shirt, in case her deodorant decided today would be a good day to fail. Derek looked over, flicking her in the thigh.

“Stiles, stop it.”

“No, you stop it.”

He squeezed her thigh, “It’s going to be _fine_.”

“It’s your _parents_. It’s like a mortal meeting Zeus and Hera.”

Derek huffed out a laugh, “Stop working yourself up into a lather.”

“I just… what if they don’t like me!?” Stiles was overreacting a little.

“That isn’t even a remote possibility.”

“How do you _know that_?”

“Because I have met my parents.”

“But -”

“Stop.”

“I could-”

“No.”

“What if-”

“Quiet.”

“Hmph.”

As they pulled into the driveway of the Hale house, Stiles took several deep breaths. As she got out of the car, she looked down at her clothes again, “I should have worn those red flats.”

Derek intertwined their fingers, pulled her up the sidewalk, “You look adorable, come on.” They stood at the front door, Derek pulling their joined hands up to his lips and kissing her hand. “Ready?”

“ _No_. Yes. Maybe. Okay.”

Derek rolled his eyes and knocked a couple of times and pushed the door open? “Maaa? We’re here.” Derek squeezed her hands a few times as he pulled her in and closed the door against the autumn breeze.

A woman emerged from around a corner, pulling Derek close, kissing his cheek, “My sweet Rik-rak.” Stiles might be hiding behind Derek. A little. And she might giggle a little at the nickname. Talia grins as she greets Stiles, “Sweetie, it’s so good to finally meet you.” She pulls Stiles in for a hug and Stiles swears her spine melts. There’s just something about a mom hug, and Stiles hasn’t had a mom hug in a really long time. 

“It’s nice to meet you too, uh… mam.”

Derek and Talia both let out a laugh and Stiles glowers at Derek. “Oh please, formalities not required in the least. I’m Ma or Yaya to most of the people that are traipsing through the house now-a-days anyway.” 

She has pulled both of them into their open kitchen where there are approximately 6 different things going on, and steam rising from several pots on the stove. Derek has already been directed to go stir them and check on doneness on several things in the oven. “Nicki! Get in here, Derek and Stiles are here!”

Soon a man comes in from outside, thwacking Derek on the back with a “Good to see you son. Your team lost and you owe me $20.” He turns to Stiles and greets her, “Stiles! We’ve heard so much about you. Nice to finally put a face to the name.” He _shakes her hand_ and then grins (which, god damn this whole family and their faces), “I hear I owe you an advance thank you for wearing pants?”

“Oh my _god_.”

“Dominick!”

“ _Dad_!”

Dominick just laughs, “You’re fitting yourself into this family just fine, darling. I didn’t think Eddie had any shame left. It was fun to see him blush like a middle schooler in sex ed.”

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to be a fly on the wall in the universe that exists somewhere out there where Derek Hale has two brothers who he has brunch with, OKAY?


End file.
